Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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