I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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