Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Your cock deserves a montage
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
