I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
