Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
