HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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