this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
