He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
