He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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