Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
