Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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