Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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