Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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