you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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