did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
