So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
