Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
