You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
