Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
