After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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