actually, I'm a sock model
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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