She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Hippo gnu deer
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
