She's JV to your varsity
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
