new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Mom said you looked used
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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