EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
