so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
