I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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