there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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