i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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