You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
