you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
