goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
