Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
