About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
