He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
