He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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