But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
