you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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