when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
