That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize