Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize