i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
