Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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