you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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