Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
