brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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