you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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