I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
