Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
