A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
