kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
