True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just high enough for therapy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
