i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Are we still banned from the library?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
