Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
