Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
