quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
