It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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