We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
