Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
