Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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