I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
