Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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