Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
