the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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