Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
