Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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